I’ve had a few, so I’ll list some of the more memorable.
Round about the roundabout
When I was a child, I lived with my parents and grandparents all under one roof. I clearly remember being awake one night, unable to sleep and wandering the house. (I often snuck into the pantry and nibbled on the dried and salted soybeans in the tupperware on nights I couldn’t sleep. Best stuff in the world.) I was standing in the dining room, nibbling, when a dark haired woman appeared in the doorway to the kitchen wearing a sleeveless nightgown, gasped, and then told me that everything was was okay, go to bed.
I told my mother the next morning, and she laughed it off as a dream.
When I was 16, my parents and I had long moved out and I would regularly visit my grandparents, sometimes sleeping over. My favorite thing to do was turn on old TV shows like Dragnet and watch them into the wee hours. Imagine my surprise when I slipped into the kitchen to grab something to eat on a commercial break, stepped out into the dining room and saw a young blonde girl standing there staring at me. After a moment, I realized that I was now on the other side of that moment, and I told the little girl that everything was okay, and to go to bed.
I told my mother the next morning, and she got that funny little look on her face and said “you told me that before.” As a child, I was blonde, but as the years passed, it darkened. I still have that nightgown.
Hurricane Hugo hit Charleston, SC and did a whopping $10 billion+ in damages. What a lot of people don’t consider is that it also hit Mt. Pleasant, SC and other nearby areas.
My grandparent’s house was in Mt. Pleasant, and after Hugo visited, 16 pine trees were embedded in the attic of the brick home. It was still viable, however, so the insurance company opted to repair. My grandparents moved into a hotel nearby, and my parents and I (after securing our own home in a northern suburb that was not as affected) went down to assist them.
My mother was washing dishes in the kitchen when I had this moment… a feeling. Something was Wrong, was going Wrong, and if nothing changed, the world as I knew it was Going To Fall Apart. It centered around my mother. I needed to get her out of the kitchen. There were no ifs, no waits. Whatever was ‘talking’ to me wanted her OUT NOW.
So I called to her. “Mom, come here.” She said to hang on.
Things got more Urgent. “Mom, I need you.” Again, she said to hang on.
By now, it was an Impending Doom. “Mom. Now.” Once more, wait a moment.
There were no more moments, just a desperate knowledge that I had to get her out of the kitchen. “Mom, come see what your sister has done.”
Fine, she said. The water in the sink turned off.
Her left foot cleared the threshold from kitchen to front room.
The 6-foot long four-bulb overhead fluorescent light fixture fell from the ceiling and shattered where she’d been doing the dishes.
We still talk about that.
my dick has a lot in common with the sun
nobody likes looking directly at it?
It gives people cancer?
woAh woah woah
It rises at the crack of dawn?
it disappears at night?
direct exposure often leads to a nasty case of sunburn?
it needs to stay approximately 92,960,000 miles away from me?
nobody will ever touch it?